Normal feeling, I know, after everything that has happened in the last five days. I am relieved that my grandmother isn't suffering anymore, but it has been difficult coming to terms with the fact that she isn't around anymore. We didn't see each other a ton over the school year, but I spent a few hours with her every day over the last month, helping her and talking when she could. So, the hardest part now is readjusting the schedule and the mindset. When you repeat the same pattern for weeks and you care for someone in such intimate ways, it is hard to just snap out of it overnight.

I haven't been doing much over the last several weeks that wasn't related to work or the hospital/grandmother. The funeral preparations and family things took up the last week, of course. I have decided not to work on my dissertation for a couple of weeks. I just need the time off. I know that that puts me behind, but I just am mentally exhausted right now. I plan to return to work at the magazine tomorrow, of course, but I am not doing anything scholastic until August rolls around.

Today, we had my mother's brother, Larry, over for lunch. I grilled hamburgers (they turned out really good) and we just sat around. I was so sleepy this afternoon that I decided to take a short nap after he left. Then, I got mom to go with me to the quad to walk. It did her (and me) a lot of good. Getting out of the house into the fresh air (though with this humidity, it doesn't feel so fresh) is always helpful.

My grandmother loved cooking and food, so I plan to remember her in that way, as most of my best memories of her center around the kitchen. She thought that Jamie Oliver was weird but "a little cute," so I plan to cook one of his recipes soon. :)


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